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Long Distance Relationship
Mike and I had been great friends for years. We met in my senior year of high school (he was a freshman at the time). We enjoyed each others company and hit it off as friends. At the time, however, I was involved with another person, as was he.
Right about the time that I was to graduate from high school he went back to his native Texas for personal help from his family about personal aspects in his life. He was gone 9 months, and in that time, kept his relationship with his girlfriend. However, she was sleeping around on him constantly. It hurt me to see my friend being treated in this way, but I figured it wasn't my business and stayed out of it. When he returned he found out through the grapevine that his girlfriend had not been faithful to him.
Needless to say he terminated the relationship fairly soon after (they tried to work it out, but to no avail). They finally, officially split up in July. I split up with my boyfriend of two years in February.
Anyway, Mike was trying to find a job (one of my few friends that actually tried), and he came by KFC (where I worked) quite frequently trying to find work. Exactly a year ago today, he saw my car at work and came in and invited me to a little get together with some friends. I gladly accepted. Later on that night we started "going out." I told him that in September I would be going away to a well respected University 2 hours away. He said that it would be worth it. Honestly, I didn't think that the relationship would last that long at first, he's a great guy but we're both very stubborn, and that normally doesn't cause a healthy relationship that I have noticed. As luck turned out, I fell deeply and quickly in love with him in the following months.
Now I'm not stupid, I don't declare love after a week, but he caught me and quick. When the time came for me to move, it tore me up. It was easier on him because he had done it before. But I knew that it still hurt him. He loved me by then also. Anyway, the first few weeks of school were quite short for me. I would pick up and leave in the middle of the week and ditch classes so that I could see Mike for longer than just 2 days in a row. I now realize that I was ( and maybe still am), a codependant. Mike wasn't too happy about this, he felt responsible for my flaking off of school (but he enhjoyed seeing me), but it wasn't his fault.
Anyyway, he hadn't had any luck finding a decent job in Bakersfield (where we had been living), and his mother was planning on going back to Houston. I suggested maybe he consider going with her to help him get a job (I didn't really want him to go, but I felt that I should be helpful and supportive if he chose to go). He told me that he was going two days before he actually left. This tore me up.
I cried for the whole rest of the day, make that sobbed. I was making the situation worse, trying to increase my self-pity. I think that this is a remnant in my nature of how I dealt with being put back and forth betw! een my mother and father since I was a child (they lived 5 hours away for as long as I can remember, and I felt like a tennis ball). This all happened last October. I got to see him in Houston for three weeks in December, and I treasured it like crazy. But the moment that I stepped foot back on that Greyhound headed for CA, I practically flipped out. I was very near hitting the bus driver and turning the wheel around to be back with my love. Needless to say, I made it through without any violence, but it was tough. Mike came down to visit me for three weeks ( which coincided with my 21st birthday) on April 11, and left today, May 2nd, our 1 year anniversary. Now despite my young age, all of my past relationships have been serious and lasted at least 2 years. However, none of them created such a strong sense of togetherness as this one year with my Mike. I can truly say that I can see us with a family in the future, and we plan on marrying in about a year and a half. ! He loves me very much, as I do him. He is my soulmate.
After sitting here sulking for a few hours today I realized that a big part of the Long distance relationship that I can't stand is how much it feels so wrong, not the relationship, but the situation. I laid in my empty bed, screaming "why?" over and over, practically having a temper tantrum, and I realized it just felt wrong to be apart from Mike. When I am with him I feel "whole," but when I am apart from him I feel hollow, like a shell, and it tears me up inside. The pain of saying goodbye tears at my soul every time. I can't believe that I have made it this many times, cause I fear that my insides will rip apart as violently as they feel like they do.
Any way, Mike is on his way to Denver, CO to work for the tile-laying company that he works for, and I am sitting here in a dorm room by myself, lonely as ever, and depressed. But it will be worth it, I love him more than ever and have been faithful to him (as I'm sure he has been too). Everything would be perfect if it weren't for the distance. And of course, my phone bill.
Maegan from California, USA
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